How do you know if you’re a good person? Am I a good Mom? Do I balance the things in my life well enough? I mean, there are my kids, work, house/errands, friends, dating and family. How do you know if you’re doing it right?
I love spending time with my kids but I don’t think it’s necessary for me to be with them all the time or hover over them. I work with them on homework and studying just about every day… We talk about their day and any fun things or concerns they have… We occasionally, go out to dinner, take walks at the lakefront, go to the park, play board games, watch movies or read together. It has been really difficult for me to learn how to go out and take care of myself and not be with my kids all the time since the separation. I used to do just about everything for them. I am trying to learn to let go of some of that and encourage their father to do things with them as well as help them learn to do things for themselves. Their Dad has this way of making me feel guilty for going out and dating etc. He says he’s joking but it doesn’t feel like it.
I have only been working out of the home (since my kids were born) for a year. It has been quite an adjustment. My job is paid hourly so I try to get as close to 35-40 hours a week as I can. I have to work. If I don’t work I don’t survive…
I am really hoping that once I get my own house I can get into my own routine and cleaning/errands schedule that works with my schedule as opposed to juggling things between myself and my soon to be ex. It will also be nice to keep things where and how I want them…. but for now I struggle constantly with trying to keep things clean and everything done at home… AND I still do his laundry, take care of the cats exclusively and do most of the other household chores by myself.
I don’t have a lot of close friends. I talk with them on the phone or correspond via email often. I need their support. I don’t spend as much time with them as I’d like.
S and I are still seeing each other. We spend as much time together as possible. I guess we usually see each other two times a week… sometimes three if we are lucky. It will be nice when I have my own place and he can just come hang out sometimes (while I get other stuff done–like housework). I really enjoy my time spent with him.
I don’t see family very often. I guess that’s something I need to work on.
So, I’m not sure if I’m doing this right or not. Am I doing a decent job juggling everything? Why do I feel like I’m doing a terrible job all the time?